October 2011
6 posts
Goodbye.
I’m done with everything here.
I'm sorry I failed you.
I was never good enough to begin with.
I'll be fine.
Change. Change. Change. I’ve been changing a lot. I realized, the more I change, the more people have gone from my life. Relationships changed, friendships changed, everything’s changed.
I cried. Yeah, a little. Then I cleared my throat and swallowed it down. It’s nice to have that support system but for now, I can support myself. I’ll be fine.
Can change be a bad thing?
If I learned one thing, it's that people will work...
If it isn’t, they won’t try.
September 2011
2 posts
These days have been lackluster.
I work and then I go home. Repeat. When I do get a chance to get out of the house, I take that chance and go. Sometimes I need to get out of the house, to breathe, to clear my head. I haven’t been getting enough of that lately.
I can’t wait till school starts.
Challenge: Makeup and Dress.
I’ve realized lately that I’ve been getting really lazy in trying to look nice. I used to love just dressing up for no reason. Don’t get me wrong, I love dressing comfortably in sweats and a ratty old t-shirt or rather a tunic shirt and black tights (my go-to lazy day outfit). However, it’s becoming a problem when that’s all I wear. I stopped wearing anything other...
August 2011
1 post
July 2011
8 posts
Dear Life, you have a good way of kicking my ass.
Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.
I'm done with feeling like I'm going to cry every...
I still see you as amazing. Don't believe anything...
Wiggling your fingers over your keyboard while...
I like to make up dreams where everyone is happy.
Then reality sets in. Sometimes it’s happy, most of the time it’s not. I have this itch, the need to fix things, to make things better. But I know, no matter how much I try, some things just can’t be fixed.
That drives me crazy.
I've been through a lot of best friends. None of...
I hope you know how much you mean to me. I hope you know how much you being there for me meant to me. You helped me through so much. I am desperate to help you even half as much as you helped me. You don’t know it, but you were my rock. I would have been swept away with the current if I didn’t have you to call every night. Even having that routine, knowing I could have something stable, was...
June 2011
4 posts
I feel like I can't keep up with all the roles in...
There’s a term for that…I think it’s called role conflict? Yeah. That. I feel like, in order to keep up with other roles I have to let a couple suffer and I’m pretty sure I’ll face the consequences afterwards. I haven’t updated my Tumblr or Facebook or my personal blog because I feel there’s no point. Writing used to make me feel better. Key words: used...
May 2011
2 posts
Watchgleeperformances:
My Cup
BEST. THING. EVER.
Dear Sing It Loud, Mayday Parade, and Danger...
April 2011
11 posts
Hey, so I'm done with everything. I hope you don't...
Never really did things for myself and when I do, it goes and messes everything up.
Lesson learned. Never doing that again.
Also, I give up on Lent. Maybe God will forgive me just this once since I never failed my Lent goals before.
I’ve been a bad person. I need to learn how to forgive myself.
Self Love Post #1938120584086
I love that I know how to cook. I love that I taught myself how to cook. All I did was burn a couple of eggs, make a pot of oil blow up while trying to fry some french fries, and manage to stay alive! Also, I find it a turn on when people know how to cook. Well, know how to cook other than just frying eggs and cooking spam.
Alright! 4 more posts to go…
Three days behind, this is getting harder than...
To be honest, today was bleh. It had it’s highs and lows. Highs: Realizing that maybe God has finally you the peace that you’ve been looking for.
Lows: Blowing up my phone from the morning till the afternoon. Calm yo tittays, people!
Self-Love Post: I pride myself in being family-oriented. My family is important. I’m close with my parents and extended family members. I think...
Things have been hard between us, I know.
You saved my life, now maybe it’s my turn to save yours.
In my quest for happiness, I’ve put you on the back burner. You tell me it doesn’t matter, that everyone’s feelings won’t matter as long as I’m making decisions that make me happy. But it’s you. We’ve been best friends for so long and I can’t just let that go. You can’t tell me to...
Making a list of things to do.
Clean my room. Do my homework. Fix my laundry.
CATCH UP WITH MY LENT POSTS!
Self-love post for today:
I think I have a nice sense of style. In high school, I was too worried about fitting in with everybody, so I wore brands like Roca Wear and Ecko Red. And I looked like everyone else. In sophomore year and junior year, I started dressing a little more like myself, but I hardly wore my nice...
Deactivated my Facebook. I'll be back after Lent.
I feel like deleting everything. I’m even contemplating deleting this Tumblr. I’m too distracted by these things.
My shoulders feel a little bit lighter now that Facebook is gone for the time being.
My highs and my lows today. Highs: Spending time with Jannelle (even though she just watched me eat a salad) and working out with Josephine.
Lows: Realizing I’m getting too...
I need to stop feeling inadequate.
I need to remind myself that I am a unique individual. I have my own set of flaws and good qualities. I am me and I shouldn’t feel like I have to be someone else because…
Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be skinnier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always just be better than me… That shouldn’t even make me feel bad because I bet those...
March 2011
28 posts
Today, I dressed sexy.
And by sexy, I mean a tank top and leggings and a cardigan because I’m actually lazy to dress up today. HAHAHA.
Easy way out FTW? Yeah? No? Okay.
I only got three hours of sleep but hey, nothing’s gonna mess up today. Just looking forward to hanging out with friends.
I mean technically, there are days, where I feel like breaking down and crying because of what’s been going on...
When you're being completely serious..& people...
Story of Jannelle’s life. Just saying.
I set a goal for myself to dress up nice every day...
I wanted to learn how to feel sexy. And every time I get close, I get self-conscious. I need to learn how to get over that and be okay with my body. So I said, I’ll just look good everyday. Then I modified it again and said I’ll try dressing sexy once a week.
I don’t want to be sexy in a slutty way. I want to be sexy by oozing self-confidence and class and owning my looks.
...
Working out = on my way to feeling good about...
I worked out and danced with Josephine today. Our goal is to work out three times a week so we’d get fit.
I needed this. I need the motivation. =]
Wow, I fail.
I haven’t been posting for lent for a couple of days. So here’s a quick post. Another thing that makes me happy? Looking at my closet and making up different outfits. I love clothes.
GOOD. SONG.
Now you’ve been bad, and it goes on and on and on ‘til you come home babe, ‘til you come home You taste best, the poison I’ve learned to love is gone. I’m all alone baby, I’m all alone I’m waiting for something, always waiting Feeling nothing, wondering if it’ll ever change And then I give a little more, oh babe ohhh Give a little more, oh babe ohhh...
Another thing that makes me happy?
I love buying presents for people. I love surprising people. I get a warm feeling inside when people like their presents.
Sadly, the only person who can keep me company.
Hansiepooh: a panda went to a bar
Hansiepooh: he ate some food, shot a guy and then leaves
Hansiepooh: a man saw this and then asked the bartender what happened
Hansiepooh: the bartender told the man
Hansiepooh: look up panda in the dictionary
Hansiepooh: the man looked it up
Hansiepooh: and it says
Hansiepooh: panda
Hansiepooh: eat shoots and leafs
Me: HAHAHA
The only thing that made me laugh today.
Me: hans, this whole thing is driving me crazy.
Hansiepooh: i know
Hansiepooh: you're not crazy though
Hansiepooh: you're just a little baby nikizilla trying to pave her way in the world
Hansiepooh: and then aliens come down and wreck everything
Hansiepooh: ......nevermind bad analogy
Me: ...
You say that I’m messing with your head All...